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The Fenian Record Player
Unknown
Wee Willie John McFadden was a loyal Ulster Prod
Who thought that Ian Paisley was one step down from God
He scorned the little children, in the backstreets of Ardoyne
And he thought that history started with the Battle of the Boyne
And he thought that history started with the Battle of the Boyne

One day he took the brick in his hands and dandered up the Falls
He was singing "Up the Rangers" and hummin' Derry's Walls
He broke the big shop window to annoy the Pope of Rome
He took the record player and then he started home
He took the record player and then he started home

Next night they had a hooley at the local Orange Hall
Wee Willie took his player to make music for the boys
He chose a stack of records of a very loyal kind
But when the music started he nearly lost his mind
But when the music started he nearly lost his mind

This Fenian record player was a rebel to the core
It played out songs the Orange Hall had never heard before
For Golly's Brae and Derry's Walls it didn't give a fig
It speeded up God Save the Queen till it sounded like a jig
It speeded up God Save the Queen till it sounded like a jig

Well the boys were plain demented, to the ground Wee Will was thrown
They kicked his ribs in one by one to the tune of Garryowen
They threw him out the window to the song of Old Sinn Fein
They kicked him all down Sandy Row to a Nation Once Again
They kicked him all down Sandy Row to a Nation Once Again

There's a moral to this story, what it is I cannot say
Oh maybe its the ancient curse, crime it will not pay
If you ask Wee Willie McFadden, he'll say "You're kind, you know"
If you want to pinch a record player, do it up the Shankill Road
If you want to pinch a record player, do it up the Shankill Road
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